the victory is ... ?

A lot of positive things have happened, all within a week.

I got an internship, I got a car, I won a short story award, I am passing all my classes to graduate, I've shared nostalgic memories with old friends, I've passed on wisdom to younger friends who strangely look up to me, I figured out the direction I need to head in next fall, I've gone for good walks, indulged in hot krispy kremes and have let life be fun.

Where is my victory? In none of this. Through everything, I've remained mildly depressed. I am so crooked deep down, it's hard to be grateful for all the good things, which are good.

I'm going to start reading Desiring God by John Piper today. I need to know about the happiness of God.

Though, God is showing me his goodness. I've doubted him so much this semester. I doubted his goodness. I looked to a bleak ending to my college life. I didn't think anything would work out.

It's time to embrace happiness. It's time to conquer my sins, through Christ's power alone. It's time to overcome. It's time to proclaim victory.

It's time to heal.