I recently have been poking my head around Portland, Or blogs (I spent a summer there interning at a really hip church). And I realize a little something missing from my life. These blogs mainly have a very local feel- that they're connected to businesses and different going-ons around the area. There is a real sense of community there.
I'm in Manassas, VA. It's a little suburb 40 miles outside DC. Sometimes when I get over the traffic and getting lost, I enjoy DC, proper and the immediate surrounding areas. But I do not enjoy Manassas. I am quite honest about that, well, with everyone. How to describe Manassas?
-A lot of trees but nowhere to go to just enjoy nature. (You can drive 30 minutes to visit a certain national park I worked at this summer, with the largest piedmont forest in the national park system.
-Lots of industrial parks.
-A disarming economic gap between certain neighborhoods.
-Lots of the typical chain businesses you'd see in most suburban localities. Not a lot of small, independent businesses last very long here.
-Not a lot of jobs around in non-profit work (although this area needs more non-profits), writing/editing or anything I'm halfway interested in.
-Not a lot to do, unless you're willing to drive out of Manassas.
-Hardly any arts culture scene
-Not a lot of people in their twenties- most of them have bailed by now. Not a big resource of meeting people your own age. Since I've been working at Starbucks, I've met a lot of high schoolers and a lot of people just 1 or 2 years out of high school doing the local college thing.
This area to me is kind of a suburban waste land. But somethings keeping me here. Like if I keep tapping on the ground, fresh floods of water will come streaming through. I know I sound crazy. But I feel like God's not done with me here. This goes beyond being forced to stay due to having no money to live on my own. I feel very heavy in me the need to stay around and make a difference.
I wish I had a community like Portland. It seems so easy to tap into local sources and connect with people who have a similar vision. But Portland doesn't need me. People like me run rampant there. I'm one in a thousand.
Manassas needs me. And I haven't figured out how or why just yet.
But there's something there.
What good DOES Manassas have?
- a cute Old Town area
-a small town feel, where it feels like you know or recognize A LOT of people (comes from your family being there a long time)
-local farms nearby (farmer's market in Old Town on Thursdays and Saturdays)
-two Chipotle's (yes it's chain, but I LOVE it)
-better bike riding roads than Newport News
-driving around there on a sunny, breezy day feels so nice
-much more low-key and laid-back than other parts of Northern Virginia
-For a town with barely any arts culture, there's sure a lot of interesting, eclectic people to run into if you're around Starbucks a lot (which I am)
-a very small community-oriented missions-oriented church I'm involved in (it's my home church I grew up in, and it's not perfect and sometimes I can only take the charismatic stuff in doses, but I really enjoy being part of it)
-potential for non-profits to thrive
-potential in general
Thursday, September 25, 2008
There is truth in the green letters!
If you know me and my views from the past two years, you know that I frequently try to educate my fellow Christian believers about the importance of environmental stewardship and the theological framework set up in the Bible.
You would think I'd be ecstatic, then, that there's recently been published a Green-Letter Bible.
I'm not. I'm weirded out. Study bibles are usually intended to provide context or look at the bible from a certain theological/historical perspective. For example, the Archaeological Study Bible provides heavy historical context. I love to read my Literary Study Bible, because it helps me study the bible using themes, genres and other literary devices.
But this Bible does not provide context. It provides a series of articles contributed by an impressive roll of writers before we make it to Genesis. I'd be personally interested in reading these articles for my personal research.
But dedicating an entire Bible to it? It sounds a little sketch. Couldn't they just edit a book? That would be such a valuable asset to my collection.
But here is the oddest part- they highlight all the parts about the environment in green letters. To put a proper framework around it these highlighted parts address
· how God and Jesus interact with, care for, and are intimately involved with all of creation.
· how all the elements of creation—land, water, air, plants, animals, humans—are interdependent.
· how nature responds to God.
· how we are called to care for creation
These are the very things that I am involved in learning about. But putting them in green letters in the Bible without a proper context? To me, that's borderline heretical. That's taking God's words within the text and making them yours. These very verses I have used to support my arguments in papers, but do I go through everyone's bible and mark them up? No.
In the ChristianityToday Blog, Brandon O'brien brings up two very good points about this:
2)
"Speaking of context, I’m afraid the letter coloring will distract, in many places, from the actual theological significance of a passage. Take Genesis 2, for example. The majority of the chapter appears in green, except—oddly—a brief reference to the second river in Eden, Gihon (but the bit about Pishon is in green). The Lord’s proclamation that it is not good for the man to be alone is in black, as is the great crescendo of the chapter: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” I can understand why the institution of marriage is not “green.” But the predominance of green ink in that chapter diverts attention from the real significance of the passage—the completion of the creation of humankind"
When I told my dad about this Bible he said it was the Left trying to swing the Christian vote their way by taking over the environmental issues. Which I think is ridiculous because I know that the Right, in their campaigns have been addressing the environment and it will become a bi-partisan issue. But I can't help but think that this Bible takes a political turn- not to left or right or politics, but of promoting a single issue through the Bible. It reminds of the end-times Bibles they used to print all the time.
I think this is a disastrous idea, but if you plan on buying this Bible, please make copies of the articles for me. Thanks, it will help in my research.
You would think I'd be ecstatic, then, that there's recently been published a Green-Letter Bible.
I'm not. I'm weirded out. Study bibles are usually intended to provide context or look at the bible from a certain theological/historical perspective. For example, the Archaeological Study Bible provides heavy historical context. I love to read my Literary Study Bible, because it helps me study the bible using themes, genres and other literary devices.
But this Bible does not provide context. It provides a series of articles contributed by an impressive roll of writers before we make it to Genesis. I'd be personally interested in reading these articles for my personal research.
But dedicating an entire Bible to it? It sounds a little sketch. Couldn't they just edit a book? That would be such a valuable asset to my collection.
But here is the oddest part- they highlight all the parts about the environment in green letters. To put a proper framework around it these highlighted parts address
· how God and Jesus interact with, care for, and are intimately involved with all of creation.
· how all the elements of creation—land, water, air, plants, animals, humans—are interdependent.
· how nature responds to God.
· how we are called to care for creation
These are the very things that I am involved in learning about. But putting them in green letters in the Bible without a proper context? To me, that's borderline heretical. That's taking God's words within the text and making them yours. These very verses I have used to support my arguments in papers, but do I go through everyone's bible and mark them up? No.
In the ChristianityToday Blog, Brandon O'brien brings up two very good points about this:
1)
"The selection of passages aside, I have two concerns with this method of highlighting biblical text. The first is this: the implicit argument in the green lettering is that by sheer bulk of words in green print, the editors prove that creation care is a central concern of the Bible. But what if we tried a different subject—say, violence. A faculty of editors color-codes a Bible so that every passage that references an act of violence is printed in purple ink. Would that, by sheer bulk, prove conclusively that violence is at the center of God’s plan of redemption? Or what about gold-lettering all the instances of sexual perversion? What I mean is this: frequency is not a compelling argument without context."
2)
"Speaking of context, I’m afraid the letter coloring will distract, in many places, from the actual theological significance of a passage. Take Genesis 2, for example. The majority of the chapter appears in green, except—oddly—a brief reference to the second river in Eden, Gihon (but the bit about Pishon is in green). The Lord’s proclamation that it is not good for the man to be alone is in black, as is the great crescendo of the chapter: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…” I can understand why the institution of marriage is not “green.” But the predominance of green ink in that chapter diverts attention from the real significance of the passage—the completion of the creation of humankind"
When I told my dad about this Bible he said it was the Left trying to swing the Christian vote their way by taking over the environmental issues. Which I think is ridiculous because I know that the Right, in their campaigns have been addressing the environment and it will become a bi-partisan issue. But I can't help but think that this Bible takes a political turn- not to left or right or politics, but of promoting a single issue through the Bible. It reminds of the end-times Bibles they used to print all the time.
I think this is a disastrous idea, but if you plan on buying this Bible, please make copies of the articles for me. Thanks, it will help in my research.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
getting distressingly lost is not my favorite thing
I've felt the need to branch out and get to know more people, lately. Especially girls. Which is why I really want to plug into an all-girls small group, which is why I went to a college service, called the Gathering tonight. Which was how the mishaps of the evening began.
First off, I HATE being the newcomer at a church group of young people. It's never not awkward if you go completely alone. Which is what I did. Not that I didn't try to invite people, mind you. I texted about 8 different people, but they all had different things going on. But I was determined. I would go and meet friends and join a small group. Yes, I am a bit of an idealist.
So I have been to Mason not too many times. I google mapped the campus. Mishap #1: Allowing google maps to direct you to a road with a dead end, with no hint of where you're actually trying to go. I've sworn off google maps a number of times, but I always end using it again. It's a bad drug.
I took a phone a friend, since many of my friends around here commute to Mason, and I got there. That was half the battle. Now I needed to park and find this building I was to go to. Parking lots confused me, but I finally settled in one. Note: I did not see any sign entering this Mason Pond Deck which stated that they did not accept credit cards. I walked into this building which was like a Student Union, but it seemed more like a mall to me. I remembered I had been there once before for some benefit concert I went to with a guy a few years back. I finally found the event itself on the ground level- I was a half an hour late. I missed most of worship. And I missed meet n greet, which would've been critical to me meeting people. Hated that cause I mostly went to worship and meet people. The sermon was good, on the lighter side compared to Kevin Hass' sermons but on the heavy side when compared to a high school youth group. It honestly wasn't bad. I even jotted a few things down.
After the service was the awkward time. People were in their groups and I didn't find any openings for conversation. I talked to a total of two people at the Connect table, and haphazardly made my way around the room before giving up and leaving (and they have no small groups near Manassas since it is mostly Mason-baed).
So I went out a different door then I came in, thinking it would take me to the same place. Boy, I was wrong. Mishap #2: I walked for 20 minutes in this parking lot, before I met a nice woman who was probably on the faculty who helped figure out that I was in the wrong parking deck. Ughhhh. To make matters worse, she didn't know quite how to direct me to the other parking deck. So I bothered people, talked to strangers (well one girl, and two guys who were leaving the Gathering) and finally figured out I could just go back up a floor the way I came in, and EVERYTHING WOULD MAKE SENSE FROM THERE. and it did.
Mishap #3: Found my car in no time. Prepared my credit card to leave. (In the other parking lot I saw a sign which said it JUST took credit cards, so I felt pretty good). Of course, I ended up in the parking lot that didn't take credit cards. I didn't have cash, or my checkbook. I felt so bad. I told the parking attendant that I was at an event but hadn't been at the school before to know anything about parking. He didn't seem to believe me as he asked me later about my Mason student ID. I didn't have ANYTHING. And I cried. I felt like a conman but I really wasn't trying to jip him. I honestly could not do anything.
He told me there was ATM nearby. I explained to him that the last thing I wanted to do was get lost again. That's actually when I started to cry.
He let me go. But I feel so bad for jipping him. Would if he had to pay that money from his own pocket? I felt horrible about it. I know it's a small thing, but anything little that triggers my guilt suddenly pushes me into a very deep pit. I feel anxious and very depressed...even with a small thing. They trigger the big things.
That ended up making my whole evening feel like a waste. Like a sham. When it was not all that bad. I hate responding to those triggering little things which eat you up inside.
First off, I HATE being the newcomer at a church group of young people. It's never not awkward if you go completely alone. Which is what I did. Not that I didn't try to invite people, mind you. I texted about 8 different people, but they all had different things going on. But I was determined. I would go and meet friends and join a small group. Yes, I am a bit of an idealist.
So I have been to Mason not too many times. I google mapped the campus. Mishap #1: Allowing google maps to direct you to a road with a dead end, with no hint of where you're actually trying to go. I've sworn off google maps a number of times, but I always end using it again. It's a bad drug.
I took a phone a friend, since many of my friends around here commute to Mason, and I got there. That was half the battle. Now I needed to park and find this building I was to go to. Parking lots confused me, but I finally settled in one. Note: I did not see any sign entering this Mason Pond Deck which stated that they did not accept credit cards. I walked into this building which was like a Student Union, but it seemed more like a mall to me. I remembered I had been there once before for some benefit concert I went to with a guy a few years back. I finally found the event itself on the ground level- I was a half an hour late. I missed most of worship. And I missed meet n greet, which would've been critical to me meeting people. Hated that cause I mostly went to worship and meet people. The sermon was good, on the lighter side compared to Kevin Hass' sermons but on the heavy side when compared to a high school youth group. It honestly wasn't bad. I even jotted a few things down.
After the service was the awkward time. People were in their groups and I didn't find any openings for conversation. I talked to a total of two people at the Connect table, and haphazardly made my way around the room before giving up and leaving (and they have no small groups near Manassas since it is mostly Mason-baed).
So I went out a different door then I came in, thinking it would take me to the same place. Boy, I was wrong. Mishap #2: I walked for 20 minutes in this parking lot, before I met a nice woman who was probably on the faculty who helped figure out that I was in the wrong parking deck. Ughhhh. To make matters worse, she didn't know quite how to direct me to the other parking deck. So I bothered people, talked to strangers (well one girl, and two guys who were leaving the Gathering) and finally figured out I could just go back up a floor the way I came in, and EVERYTHING WOULD MAKE SENSE FROM THERE. and it did.
Mishap #3: Found my car in no time. Prepared my credit card to leave. (In the other parking lot I saw a sign which said it JUST took credit cards, so I felt pretty good). Of course, I ended up in the parking lot that didn't take credit cards. I didn't have cash, or my checkbook. I felt so bad. I told the parking attendant that I was at an event but hadn't been at the school before to know anything about parking. He didn't seem to believe me as he asked me later about my Mason student ID. I didn't have ANYTHING. And I cried. I felt like a conman but I really wasn't trying to jip him. I honestly could not do anything.
He told me there was ATM nearby. I explained to him that the last thing I wanted to do was get lost again. That's actually when I started to cry.
He let me go. But I feel so bad for jipping him. Would if he had to pay that money from his own pocket? I felt horrible about it. I know it's a small thing, but anything little that triggers my guilt suddenly pushes me into a very deep pit. I feel anxious and very depressed...even with a small thing. They trigger the big things.
That ended up making my whole evening feel like a waste. Like a sham. When it was not all that bad. I hate responding to those triggering little things which eat you up inside.
Monday, September 22, 2008
One of my favorite evangelical authors is endorsing Obama
Donald Miller, writer of really honest, thought-provoking narrative books on faith like "Blue Like Jazz" and "Searching for God Knows What" is joining the Barack Obama: Faith, Family and Values Tour.
I have a very mixed reaction. Honestly, I have no idea who I'm voting for. While Obama is an inexperienced idealist who is probably much more corruptible than his rhetoric leads people to believe, Mccain is Bush #2 who just happens to have experience and a maverick history (not to mention I am not a fan of his running mate).
I just had a conversation with some friends last night on how involved the Church should be in the government or politics. Should Christians stay out of government entirely and just focus on sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ to individuals, or should we look out for mass society making sure the laws of the land frees the oppressed and oppressors from oppressing? I don't have the answer.
I do believe that to an extent we stayed involved. Yes, we want the government to make ethical God-honoring laws. But politics becomes a messy thing. Both sides don't have it right. Both sides are not entirely ethical.
Honestly, it bothers me when I go to Church and either liberal or conservative politics are preached to me. I don't think the pulpit exists for those platforms. There's a danger in manipulating people to vote a certain way, there's abuse of authority and thirst of power associated with that.
But Donald Miller isn't a pastor. He's a Christian who happens to write faith-inspired books (kinda like what I want to do). And he's taking a stand for something he believes in, and speaking out against the assumption that evangelical voters need to vote Republican. Still, he does have many followers who eat up his books and the words he says. If he's gonna continue on this political trail, he needs to be careful.
I have not made up my mind on how I feel about this campaign tour. I guess we will see what the fruit of it is.
He did the benediction for the DNC convention. This is interview he had with Christianity Today before it. He made some good points, but none which really tells me why he's a democrat instead of an independent.
And the benediction itself:
I have a very mixed reaction. Honestly, I have no idea who I'm voting for. While Obama is an inexperienced idealist who is probably much more corruptible than his rhetoric leads people to believe, Mccain is Bush #2 who just happens to have experience and a maverick history (not to mention I am not a fan of his running mate).
I just had a conversation with some friends last night on how involved the Church should be in the government or politics. Should Christians stay out of government entirely and just focus on sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ to individuals, or should we look out for mass society making sure the laws of the land frees the oppressed and oppressors from oppressing? I don't have the answer.
I do believe that to an extent we stayed involved. Yes, we want the government to make ethical God-honoring laws. But politics becomes a messy thing. Both sides don't have it right. Both sides are not entirely ethical.
Honestly, it bothers me when I go to Church and either liberal or conservative politics are preached to me. I don't think the pulpit exists for those platforms. There's a danger in manipulating people to vote a certain way, there's abuse of authority and thirst of power associated with that.
But Donald Miller isn't a pastor. He's a Christian who happens to write faith-inspired books (kinda like what I want to do). And he's taking a stand for something he believes in, and speaking out against the assumption that evangelical voters need to vote Republican. Still, he does have many followers who eat up his books and the words he says. If he's gonna continue on this political trail, he needs to be careful.
I have not made up my mind on how I feel about this campaign tour. I guess we will see what the fruit of it is.
He did the benediction for the DNC convention. This is interview he had with Christianity Today before it. He made some good points, but none which really tells me why he's a democrat instead of an independent.
And the benediction itself:
strictly heretical and absurd
Dear Bill Maher,
You don't get it. One does not have to be an intellectual to be saved by Jesus Christ. You don't have to be anything. You can receive Jesus on basis of God's grace by faith alone. There's no works involved, no intellect needed.
But that does not mean God doesn't give plenty of his people brains. There is a huge array of Christian intellectuals out there, but you don't even consider them. I may have just watched the trailer of your new film Religuous, but I did not see Ravi or Piper or Tim Keller or Sproul or Riddlebarger represented. There were lots of beautiful people you interviewed and made a total fool of, who did not have the apologetics or who were matched in your intellect to show you down. To prove you wrong. Interesting choice.
But yes, even those intellectuals will be foolish in your sight. For God chooses the foolish to shame the wise. There a lot of Christians out there who do not have a good grasp of theology or apologetics, but this is because some churches are not out there teaching it. I don't think that's a good thing, I that Christians should always be prepared to give good reason. But that does not mean that these people don't have good hearts. And it does not make them robots. Not all humans are blessed with your high, austere level of intellect. Thank God. We would all be very cold-hearted, pretentious individuals who glorify ourselves, deeply crooked beings in our nature, instead of glorifying what is ultimately Good and Righteous. I thank God for these "crazy" people. They show passion, devotion, spirit and heart. Much more than your stone-like cynicism will ever achieve.
So if you wanna take on Christianity, or faith in general, as you do in your film. Go to the theologians, people who study faith and study reason and still believe. I would have to watch your movie to see if you do that or not, but after viewing your trailer, I am deeply disturbed and would not like to send $10 your way. Maybe I'll just bootleg your movie to rip you off, so I can see that my fears are validated- that not one reasonably intellectual Christian was recorded in the making of this film.
Watch the trailer, here
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3857252633/
You don't get it. One does not have to be an intellectual to be saved by Jesus Christ. You don't have to be anything. You can receive Jesus on basis of God's grace by faith alone. There's no works involved, no intellect needed.
But that does not mean God doesn't give plenty of his people brains. There is a huge array of Christian intellectuals out there, but you don't even consider them. I may have just watched the trailer of your new film Religuous, but I did not see Ravi or Piper or Tim Keller or Sproul or Riddlebarger represented. There were lots of beautiful people you interviewed and made a total fool of, who did not have the apologetics or who were matched in your intellect to show you down. To prove you wrong. Interesting choice.
But yes, even those intellectuals will be foolish in your sight. For God chooses the foolish to shame the wise. There a lot of Christians out there who do not have a good grasp of theology or apologetics, but this is because some churches are not out there teaching it. I don't think that's a good thing, I that Christians should always be prepared to give good reason. But that does not mean that these people don't have good hearts. And it does not make them robots. Not all humans are blessed with your high, austere level of intellect. Thank God. We would all be very cold-hearted, pretentious individuals who glorify ourselves, deeply crooked beings in our nature, instead of glorifying what is ultimately Good and Righteous. I thank God for these "crazy" people. They show passion, devotion, spirit and heart. Much more than your stone-like cynicism will ever achieve.
So if you wanna take on Christianity, or faith in general, as you do in your film. Go to the theologians, people who study faith and study reason and still believe. I would have to watch your movie to see if you do that or not, but after viewing your trailer, I am deeply disturbed and would not like to send $10 your way. Maybe I'll just bootleg your movie to rip you off, so I can see that my fears are validated- that not one reasonably intellectual Christian was recorded in the making of this film.
Watch the trailer, here
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3857252633/
Saturday, September 20, 2008
choices
I'm finally about 98% sure about my response to a decision I have to make. Phew. I hate the choice but like it, because it may just be the smarter thing to do.
Sometimes the smartest thing is the least appealing thing. But I just gotta go ahead with it.
Sometimes the smartest thing is the least appealing thing. But I just gotta go ahead with it.
what i am running from
Somebody recently told me that, like Jonah, I'm running away from something God wants me to do and what ever that is, that's what I should be doing.
As he said that, in my heart I completely knew it was true. In my head I said, "That can't be! I've kept my options open to do anything!"
But today I realized that it wasn't about doing it RIGHT now or even the very near future, but positioning my heart in a place where it's getting READY. And I have not focused my heart at all on something that a year ago I would tell basically everyone and anyone I wanted to do.
I realize that running away has nothing to do with "keeping my options open." I avoid thinking about. I avoid praying about it. I am negligent to tell people about my trip to Kenya and uncomfortable and awkward when I try to explain it. I am more negligent of world news (which is mighty easy with politics always on the tube).
I have tried my hardest to assimilate (not integrate) into a society which I re-entered after a two month cross-cultural trip. Which was hard. And I am still affected by it. I try to make myself fit in as much as possible in the cultural climate I'm in. Some might say that's good and healthy to try to place prior prejudices aside and try to get along with everyone...but as I mentioned...there's a distinct difference between integration (good) and assimilation (bad) and I have too easily assimilated here.
Now I can hardly imagine doing what I wanted to do a year ago, although I still set it as an option for later on.
When is "later one?
Why am I running away? Why am I completely shut down to doing any sort of missions work (I mean c'mon, you've had to guess that with the context)?
Fear. I am scared. If I keep talking about my heart condition I'll completely demean myself. I am afraid of motives, most of all. And I'm afraid I'm not good enough and I can not love enough and that I need to be near perfect before I can even consider doing missions work. And lastly, a concern I rarely used to have, I'm afraid of no security- no money, no health benefits, no steady community, no future fill in the blank. I really like life cushy and comfortable right now.
So there it is. Pray for me, yes?
As he said that, in my heart I completely knew it was true. In my head I said, "That can't be! I've kept my options open to do anything!"
But today I realized that it wasn't about doing it RIGHT now or even the very near future, but positioning my heart in a place where it's getting READY. And I have not focused my heart at all on something that a year ago I would tell basically everyone and anyone I wanted to do.
I realize that running away has nothing to do with "keeping my options open." I avoid thinking about. I avoid praying about it. I am negligent to tell people about my trip to Kenya and uncomfortable and awkward when I try to explain it. I am more negligent of world news (which is mighty easy with politics always on the tube).
I have tried my hardest to assimilate (not integrate) into a society which I re-entered after a two month cross-cultural trip. Which was hard. And I am still affected by it. I try to make myself fit in as much as possible in the cultural climate I'm in. Some might say that's good and healthy to try to place prior prejudices aside and try to get along with everyone...but as I mentioned...there's a distinct difference between integration (good) and assimilation (bad) and I have too easily assimilated here.
Now I can hardly imagine doing what I wanted to do a year ago, although I still set it as an option for later on.
When is "later one?
Why am I running away? Why am I completely shut down to doing any sort of missions work (I mean c'mon, you've had to guess that with the context)?
Fear. I am scared. If I keep talking about my heart condition I'll completely demean myself. I am afraid of motives, most of all. And I'm afraid I'm not good enough and I can not love enough and that I need to be near perfect before I can even consider doing missions work. And lastly, a concern I rarely used to have, I'm afraid of no security- no money, no health benefits, no steady community, no future fill in the blank. I really like life cushy and comfortable right now.
So there it is. Pray for me, yes?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
meditation is a lost art
God's people have been practicing meditation since Genesis.
Christians have practicing it since the roots of the Way.
Why is it a lost art in modern day Christianity?
Why will most Christians note it as some strictly Zen yoga thing if it's mentioned?
Meditation is crucial to the spiritual disciplines.
Some of you might think, o it's just Janelle, "that hippie", saying this. Well I am not coming to you as a hippie but as a Christ follower when I mention critical things to our faith such as meditation, social justice, and environmental stewardship. These are so much more than just strong opinions of mine- they go to the heart of Christ. Please do not let my apparent liberalism distract you from the real matter at hand.
But, I digress.
Meditation is simply a great thing, which on my own wisdom, I would not even consider. I had to first of all humble myself to read this little book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster.
In this book, he explains the importance of spiritual disciples such as prayer, fasting, worship, meditation and scripture. Even though we cannot work to obtain God's love, because it is freely given to us if we receive, does not mean we do not strive on to know and love God. God's grace is not cheap and to be taken for granted.
The first chapter after the introduction covers meditation and I am eating it up. The past couple of days, I've been doing a couple med exercises from the book, and even making some up as I go (because there is no formula to it). I feel so much more free and open to God's spirit than I have lately, and I have a long way to go in my disciplines but I already get a sense of true communion with God. It's a really moving thing.
At church today, I heard a sermon on the same plane. The Western Church is focused on growth and performance. In my time in college, where I grew most with God at all in my life, I struggled a lot with treating my faith like a performance art. I knew all the right answers. And I seemed passionate. With me was carried a charisma that delighted other people. But it wasn't always real. I played a game. It was called, get people to like me, because they won't if they see just a timid, anxious girl. As I said, it was something I recognized and I struggled a lot with. I wanted so badly to become genuine. To become real. Even with that, I felt like I had fooled people. I've had friends and even mere acquaintances would tell me that I am one of the most genuine people they knew. I never felt like a bigger farce. And I would try to dissuade them from that opinion. But beating yourself down is not humility, and it's not true sincerity.
And again, I digress.
The sermon was about how it's not about performance but tapping into the inner man. As trite as it may sound, it's what's going on in the inside that matters. Spending quiet time alone with God is probably one of the best things you can do. Not some big act of Charity. Not praying loudly on a street corner, or some big conference, not using InterVarsity merely as means of social time.
I seldom take quiet times. It kind of makes my heart sad. I have an amazing opportunity to sit in the presence of the King of the Universe, but I am just too content listening to Radiohead and writing on someone's Facebook wall.
Foster says that superficiality is the curse of our age. I believe it. If you've seen me lately, obsessing more about weight and hair even more than books, finding out about the coolest music, you would see I'm living proof. Even people like me who prance around as if they were "too good for that," counter-culture, deep, contemplative people, indulge in meaningless vanities- all the time with a blink of the eye, not a second to lose.
Time to quiet down and listen. Noise down, ears opens, heart receptive.
(more to follow as I discover)
Christians have practicing it since the roots of the Way.
Why is it a lost art in modern day Christianity?
Why will most Christians note it as some strictly Zen yoga thing if it's mentioned?
Meditation is crucial to the spiritual disciplines.
Some of you might think, o it's just Janelle, "that hippie", saying this. Well I am not coming to you as a hippie but as a Christ follower when I mention critical things to our faith such as meditation, social justice, and environmental stewardship. These are so much more than just strong opinions of mine- they go to the heart of Christ. Please do not let my apparent liberalism distract you from the real matter at hand.
But, I digress.
Meditation is simply a great thing, which on my own wisdom, I would not even consider. I had to first of all humble myself to read this little book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster.
In this book, he explains the importance of spiritual disciples such as prayer, fasting, worship, meditation and scripture. Even though we cannot work to obtain God's love, because it is freely given to us if we receive, does not mean we do not strive on to know and love God. God's grace is not cheap and to be taken for granted.
The first chapter after the introduction covers meditation and I am eating it up. The past couple of days, I've been doing a couple med exercises from the book, and even making some up as I go (because there is no formula to it). I feel so much more free and open to God's spirit than I have lately, and I have a long way to go in my disciplines but I already get a sense of true communion with God. It's a really moving thing.
At church today, I heard a sermon on the same plane. The Western Church is focused on growth and performance. In my time in college, where I grew most with God at all in my life, I struggled a lot with treating my faith like a performance art. I knew all the right answers. And I seemed passionate. With me was carried a charisma that delighted other people. But it wasn't always real. I played a game. It was called, get people to like me, because they won't if they see just a timid, anxious girl. As I said, it was something I recognized and I struggled a lot with. I wanted so badly to become genuine. To become real. Even with that, I felt like I had fooled people. I've had friends and even mere acquaintances would tell me that I am one of the most genuine people they knew. I never felt like a bigger farce. And I would try to dissuade them from that opinion. But beating yourself down is not humility, and it's not true sincerity.
And again, I digress.
The sermon was about how it's not about performance but tapping into the inner man. As trite as it may sound, it's what's going on in the inside that matters. Spending quiet time alone with God is probably one of the best things you can do. Not some big act of Charity. Not praying loudly on a street corner, or some big conference, not using InterVarsity merely as means of social time.
I seldom take quiet times. It kind of makes my heart sad. I have an amazing opportunity to sit in the presence of the King of the Universe, but I am just too content listening to Radiohead and writing on someone's Facebook wall.
Foster says that superficiality is the curse of our age. I believe it. If you've seen me lately, obsessing more about weight and hair even more than books, finding out about the coolest music, you would see I'm living proof. Even people like me who prance around as if they were "too good for that," counter-culture, deep, contemplative people, indulge in meaningless vanities- all the time with a blink of the eye, not a second to lose.
Time to quiet down and listen. Noise down, ears opens, heart receptive.
(more to follow as I discover)
Monday, September 08, 2008
stunned..baffled really
I can't believe how low people will stoop for money. How people will so eagerly take advantage of their loved ones.
It's that "Arrested Development" sense of blatantly suspended morals. Funny on TV. Absolutely disgusting in real life.
It's that "Arrested Development" sense of blatantly suspended morals. Funny on TV. Absolutely disgusting in real life.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
choices
I have a decision to make that I'm not comfortable making on my own competance.
I haven't even felt very competant to pray lately.
So if everyone who reads this who likes to pray can pray for direction in my life that would be much appreciated.
If you wanna know what to pray for, please e-mail me at janelloespo@gmail.com.
I haven't even felt very competant to pray lately.
So if everyone who reads this who likes to pray can pray for direction in my life that would be much appreciated.
If you wanna know what to pray for, please e-mail me at janelloespo@gmail.com.
Monday, September 01, 2008
It's the first of September and a new beginning
Like it or not God is breaking me to draw him closer to Himself.
I give him all the praise for that!
Lately, I have been less than broken and incredibly prideful.
I am so ready to give it ALL to the Lord.
I give him all the praise for that!
Lately, I have been less than broken and incredibly prideful.
I am so ready to give it ALL to the Lord.
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