I can't control anything that I want to happen in my life...even if I try to put myself in the "right place at the right time." That usually never turns out.
But still, how can I juggle the concepts that 1) I cannot put something in my own hands or on the other hand, 2) if I want something I just gotta put myself out there?
How much do they conflict? and how much do they intersect?
I think prayer is necessary. Ask God. After that, follows the action. God wants us to ask and he wants us to take risks. But taking a risk without prayer is just foolishness.
Risks without prayer turn those things you want into idols. I have one too many idols...it's time to sit before my father in heaven.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
for each epiphany there are a million questions
I get depressed about not having a professional job, while I don't even want a professional job. I don't want to run the rat race. But there's no way to come to terms with reality when you just avoid it. This is the life God gave me. I can't just run away.
So I get depressed about not getting what I don't want, because I am depressed by my own motives in getting what I do want. But most of all, my current situation depresses me beyond my motives and the professional world. So where does this leave me?
Is God good and powerful? Then why this silence?!
So I get depressed about not getting what I don't want, because I am depressed by my own motives in getting what I do want. But most of all, my current situation depresses me beyond my motives and the professional world. So where does this leave me?
Is God good and powerful? Then why this silence?!
my life keeps the same tune on repeat
Library books are collecting dust on my window sill, on the top of my TV, and on my dresser. There are so many helpful books to read. So many interesting books to read, but I am simply disinterested.
Every few weeks I go back to idealist.org, craigslist, monster.com, the cnu job search site...and begin the futile search again. But I don't end up applying to many jobs. Each attempt is as if my child-like hand were grasping for small precious grains flying in the air, unable to ever be attained.
Then there's what I really want to do- the idealistic and volunteer-oriented jobs I am really interested in. I go back to those sometimes. But with their lengthy applications accessing one's character, motivations and maturity, I don't want to post any lies.
I have some very well-meaning people in my life who like to tell me the truth. Do they realize that one cannot simply be talked out of their sadness? That hearing it can just provoke more sadness, and thus get overwhelmed into more apathy?
Every few weeks I go back to idealist.org, craigslist, monster.com, the cnu job search site...and begin the futile search again. But I don't end up applying to many jobs. Each attempt is as if my child-like hand were grasping for small precious grains flying in the air, unable to ever be attained.
Then there's what I really want to do- the idealistic and volunteer-oriented jobs I am really interested in. I go back to those sometimes. But with their lengthy applications accessing one's character, motivations and maturity, I don't want to post any lies.
I have some very well-meaning people in my life who like to tell me the truth. Do they realize that one cannot simply be talked out of their sadness? That hearing it can just provoke more sadness, and thus get overwhelmed into more apathy?
Friday, November 07, 2008
WHO do we put our hope in?
Just a preface- this blog might be extremely popular among my Christian friends but likely not as popular among my non-religious friends or friends of other religions. To all of you, I dedicate this blog. I realize in the past, I have played it safe for you, as to not offend you and make you dislike me because I want you to like me. But I do not care as much about being safe or liked anymore. You may think I am close-minded claiming to believe in an absolute truth, but please take what I say to heart and feel free to ask questions and wrestle with the words. I pray what I say is not just a religious political statement, but actually speaks to your hearts.
I would consider some of my values to be more liberal than conservative, but in this past election I did not jump on the Obama train (Also, I did not vote for McCain). For very simple reasons. 1) As a moderate, he is too "big government for me 2) 4 years on senate, 2 spent campaigning as President (that troubles me) 3) While realizing that different Christians have different views of the legislation of abortion, I found it outrightly non-Christian of him that he supports partial-birth abortion (earlier stages of abortion can at least be debated as murder or non-murder, but partial-birth is outright murder.)
I do realize that he has many good qualities to him. First of all, we note the historical significance of voting in our first African-American President- this country has come such a long way, and for that I am proud.
Secondly, I love the morale of the American at a boost. Obama does not often preach politics of fear but politics of hope.
But that brings me to my worry. Preaching politics.
Now, I do not uphold the view of many conservative Christians that Obama is an anti-christ figure. I find that to be absurd, judgmental and completely ridiculous.
However as I look on facebook and blogs all around, I see people idolizing Obama, which is dangerous.
Let me make this clear - Obama is not our salvation. He is a good man, who will hopefully make good change in our country, but do not put your hope in MAN.
Politics are politics. They fall short of saving us humans. The only salvation we can know is the hope and change Jesus Christ brought to us through his death on the cross, and will bring when he comes back and instills a new heaven and a new earth when pain and sorrow will be no more.
We can strive to instill values of justice and hope in our public policy- I do believe that. But be careful. We are human beings with corrupt natures and we fall short of justice everyday. While many people out there believe values of righteousness and justice, where do we believe these values come from? They cannot be argued out of pragmatism, or for a stable future for the world. They come from a more deep-rooted place. We cannot achieve justice and human rights if our hearts are NOT FIRST CHANGED.
Change and hope starts in the hearts of human beings. But it has to be placed there by something. We are created in the image of God, therefore Christian or non-Christian we love things that God loves and hate things that he too hates. Change cannot come in our hearts without divine revelation.
My brother Justin puts it in this order-
Revelation ---> Revival---> Revolution
This works out in several patterns, in several ways God moves in creation. But let me give one illustration:
Revelation births revival. Revival is when our hearts are so stirred towards God that we wake up and do something. We give our Father glory through carrying out his will in the world. When we do that, revolution happens. Not a political revolution which gives corrupt man power, but a revolution which makes feeding the poor not a moral duty but a blessed opportunity to know your brother in love and share your resources, not out of government obligation, but by freely giving what you have been graciously given.
I am not scared of Obama taking office. I am excited. I think this is an excellent oppurtunity to re-think the way we live and partner with our administration in promoting change. Remember, Obama is not the key to this, though. Our hearts are. When our hearts are filled with love, we can live and move in ways we can never imagine. God is love. Turn your hearts toward him. He is good and powerful to save us. Wisdom and human works without God will ultimately fail.
I would consider some of my values to be more liberal than conservative, but in this past election I did not jump on the Obama train (Also, I did not vote for McCain). For very simple reasons. 1) As a moderate, he is too "big government for me 2) 4 years on senate, 2 spent campaigning as President (that troubles me) 3) While realizing that different Christians have different views of the legislation of abortion, I found it outrightly non-Christian of him that he supports partial-birth abortion (earlier stages of abortion can at least be debated as murder or non-murder, but partial-birth is outright murder.)
I do realize that he has many good qualities to him. First of all, we note the historical significance of voting in our first African-American President- this country has come such a long way, and for that I am proud.
Secondly, I love the morale of the American at a boost. Obama does not often preach politics of fear but politics of hope.
But that brings me to my worry. Preaching politics.
Now, I do not uphold the view of many conservative Christians that Obama is an anti-christ figure. I find that to be absurd, judgmental and completely ridiculous.
However as I look on facebook and blogs all around, I see people idolizing Obama, which is dangerous.
Let me make this clear - Obama is not our salvation. He is a good man, who will hopefully make good change in our country, but do not put your hope in MAN.
Politics are politics. They fall short of saving us humans. The only salvation we can know is the hope and change Jesus Christ brought to us through his death on the cross, and will bring when he comes back and instills a new heaven and a new earth when pain and sorrow will be no more.
We can strive to instill values of justice and hope in our public policy- I do believe that. But be careful. We are human beings with corrupt natures and we fall short of justice everyday. While many people out there believe values of righteousness and justice, where do we believe these values come from? They cannot be argued out of pragmatism, or for a stable future for the world. They come from a more deep-rooted place. We cannot achieve justice and human rights if our hearts are NOT FIRST CHANGED.
Change and hope starts in the hearts of human beings. But it has to be placed there by something. We are created in the image of God, therefore Christian or non-Christian we love things that God loves and hate things that he too hates. Change cannot come in our hearts without divine revelation.
My brother Justin puts it in this order-
Revelation ---> Revival---> Revolution
This works out in several patterns, in several ways God moves in creation. But let me give one illustration:
Revelation births revival. Revival is when our hearts are so stirred towards God that we wake up and do something. We give our Father glory through carrying out his will in the world. When we do that, revolution happens. Not a political revolution which gives corrupt man power, but a revolution which makes feeding the poor not a moral duty but a blessed opportunity to know your brother in love and share your resources, not out of government obligation, but by freely giving what you have been graciously given.
I am not scared of Obama taking office. I am excited. I think this is an excellent oppurtunity to re-think the way we live and partner with our administration in promoting change. Remember, Obama is not the key to this, though. Our hearts are. When our hearts are filled with love, we can live and move in ways we can never imagine. God is love. Turn your hearts toward him. He is good and powerful to save us. Wisdom and human works without God will ultimately fail.
1 Corinthians 2:9-16
However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"— but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:"For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.
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