Is this a complete contradiction?
I almost feel like it is.
Brief history: Around 4 years ago, in Portland, Oregon, I became a vegetarian. This is because I learned more about the meat industry in America and was sickened by its lack of ethics. However, I did not stop eating dairy or eggs and other animal-based products. I would try my best to buy these products organic or free-range, but at the time, I did not deem it reasonable to go vegan.
3 years ago, I was preparing to go to Kenya for a 7 week long missions trip. Prior to the trip, I was involved in a program called Students Training in Missions, which trains you to enter cross-cultural situations. One weekend, we had a meat-based meal, and I was going to opt to eating PB&J, but one of my leaders sat me aside and explained to me that it's offensive to go into other cultures and refuse their food.
That struck a chord in me, and one thing that remained fresh that year was when I went to peoples' houses (at home) and would explain I am vegetarian. If they were not prepared, they were either sorry or kinda ticked off. I realized that food preferences draw up boundaries-- so knowing that I want to live a missional life, I chose people over animal ethics in those situations. I want to love people and care for creation-- becoming a hospitalitarian seemed like the best way.
Hospitalitarianism. I made up that word, and it is a conversation piece whereever I go. It simply means I do not buy my own meat-- but I eat it at peoples' houses, church events and other things of the like. So on my own time, I am still a vegetarian.
But recently, I have had health concerns. And really, it's been going on for awhile. When I was in Kenya, tea was served at all times a day. It was Kenyan chai- a milk based tea, made with boiled whole milk, water and loose tea leaves. It was very good, but I started getting sick everytime I drank it. I had to start to turn it down, or drink it very slowly, and not move afterwards.
I have been getting sick lately, and whenever I do get sick, too much dairy has seemed to be a part of it. But even yesterday, when I just had a little bit of half & half in my Americano I started feeling bad.
Am I lactose-intolerant? I don't know. I need to see a doctor to find out. But I think I could at least have a mild intolerance to dairy.
So right now, I am starting an experiment. Go mostly vegan and see if that has an impact. Mostly vegan, because I am still hospitalitarian. So it would work, in theory, like eating vegetarian when I am on my own.
But I have health issues to work out. If I go over to someone's house and they cook baked ziti, topped off with cheesecake for dessert, I know I will miserable afterwards. So what do I do in these scenarios? Explain to people that although I can still eat meat when I am with them, I can't eat as much dairy?
Telling people I am a vegan hospitalitarian will throw them all off-- because this implies that I don't eat any animal products. And while I won't eat animal products on my own time and money, what do I do when I visit people?
Like if someone offers me a pepsi? That one's easier. "I'll just drink water." But in some cultures, if someone offers you a pepsi, you need to drink the pepsi.
I am toying around with not calling myself vegan at all, but maybe being a dairy-free hospitalitarian. This will be slightly less confusing, however does not provide for more polite manners around the dinner table.
Personal health is a very important thing to consider, but so are the relationships built around the dinner table. People tell me that in this culture, it's ok to be vegetarian or vegan as long as you tell your hosts ahead of time, but still that requires the host to have to make extra preparations for you and spend more money possibly to offer two versions of the same meal. It works for some people, and I certainly understand those who do have more serious health problems.
I just hope I never become gluten-intolerant. :/
3 comments:
FWIW, Miss Manners decrees that there are substantial differences between food preferences and food necessities. It's one thing to be a vegetarian and never eat meat or be a vegan and eat no animal products -- those are choices, and you're required, by etiquette, to either load up on food beforehand or bring your own (if it's potluck) and not make a big spectacle out of the fact that you're not eating the main dishes. It's quite another if your refusal of a dish is based on a medical condition; you wouldn't expect someone with a shellfish allergy to try the gumbo. If you genuinely have a medical issue with eating food, I think you're safe to pick around the parts you can't eat, eat the parts you can, and explain politely if asked.
Exactly. That applies well to that instance. But what if you do not have an actual allergy but you choose for personal diet not to eat dairy or shellfish, or what have you? I could keep eating dairy and deal with it, but I have the choice. Unless you break out into hives each time, people usually make choices which react with them positively or negatively. Most people ignore the negative outcomes. But it's usually a choice.
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