i love my friend bekah. she is so so very beautiful. i read this and i thought that this was just too amazing to just stay on her myspace blog.

"So there is this homeless man who is always outside of our walmart who stands on the corner near the stop sign to get in and out. Every time i go to wal-mart, i'm with my mom, and as we leave, we have to stop at the stop sign. I am in the passenger seat, and my mom does such a good job of ignoring him. It almost angers me how unaffected she is by it, because i feel so ashamed every time i'm in that passenger seat and i pass him by.

Today as i was leaving CNU after 8 hours of work, God really put this guy on my heart. I decided that I would go to walmart, and if he was there, I would buy some stuff there and give it to him. Then as I was driving home, I started to freak out. What if he was there, but I was too scared to take action. God spoke to me kind of loud, and pretty much made it clear that if i didn't stop, this man would die. So i could choose. which...definitely pushed me.
so i drove home and to walmart...and he was there.

i went inside and freaked about what i should get him. His sign always says homeless and hungry. help. so i went to the food isle. Having just bought my car, i don't really have much money...actually i'm in debt about 300 dollars to my mom. So i looked for something cheap. I bought a super huge bag of animal crackers, a big thing of gatorade, and a little book with scripture passages [because i wanted him to know it didn't come from me, it came from god, cuz i sure wouldnt have done it if he hadnt told me to]. On the way out, I also felt really called to get a cold bottle of water from the front for him. I went out and gave it to him, and when i did, it started pouring. When i handed him the bag, I mentioned that the water was cold, and then I mumbled that i should have got him an umbrella. He smiled, and then said thank you and that he had been dying of thirst.

Then i left. when i got in my car, i started crying. i had to pull over cuz it was so rainy and i couldn't see out of my eyeballs and i just had to pray.
but for some reason...i felt worse than i did before. I feel like what i gave was crappy. i wished that i could do something so much bigger. i wished that i didnt have to do it behind my mother's back. i wished that i didn't feel like i did it for myself. i wished that i hadn't said something so stupid to him.

now i don't think he would have really died if i hadn't given him anything; i think that is was more of a motivation to make sure that i did what i needed to do. i do, however, think that i would have died if i hadn't acted. spiritually that is. this much i do know: he had been dying of thirst, but so had i. it's really not enough to learn about passages like the good samaritan, analyze them, and know what is good and what is not. if you keep on staring ahead, you havn't really learned anything.

now what i did made me feel like i suck in about 100 new ways, but i did try. i took action on something that i felt passionatly about, and i feel like that is a step in the right direction.and just now i decided i was still really not at peace with the whole situation, so i opened the bible to a random page and read the passage. i came right to matthew 10, which is when jesus sends the 12 apostles on their way. the whole thing is pretty startling. it calls for action, and a lot of it. it is very bold, very scary, and yet very encouraging. jesus let's the diciples know how hard their journey is going to be, yet how filfilling.the passage itself is pretty long so i won't post the whole thing, but you should read it if you have time because it is so vivid.I will, however, leave you with this- my peace for tonight. the very last line of the passage.

"And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded."

God is perfection. "