the vision pit

I have a lot to be thankful for.

God is faithful. All the time; God is faithful.

It's so weird how God puts a task in front of you, and all you do is obey it, and he gives you something big.

This is what's happening to me.

Or I think it is. Maybe I'm being dramatic? But the thing is, my mind has clarity. It makes sense. The pieces of the puzzle are finally beginning to go together.

The question I've been trying to answer: What the heck is God calling me to do in my life??

I'm still not sure exactly what it is. But He has cast a vision- and that's exactly what I asked for.

OK, to clarify some things. I decided on Monday night after going to Primal Religions (which I was sooo close to skipping to do other homework) to go on a fast from Tuesday afternoon to today before Thanksgiving meal. Dr. Redick was talking about Native Americans going on vision quests in the wilderness and fasting during that time. And I thought- hmmm, I really need a vision quest. And I dunno what else, but I really felt spiritually compelled to fast. I haven't done it too much before. I never really quite got the concept of fasting.

And as I was fasting, I still didn't really "get it." I mean, I kept getting distracted from prayer. And after the fast was over I was like, "Welp. That's it. Time for some wine." Nothing too spiritually dramatic happened.

And then I watched 'Evan Almighty' this evening. It was stupid and cheesy, but it spoke to me. A lot. Basically, God kept calling Evan, a newly elected congressman to build an ark. This man had prayed that God will help him change the world, and uhhh, his prayer was answered. Even though God called him, Evan ignored him. But this did not change the sovereignty of God. Things spiraled out of Evan's control until he could do nothing else but build the ark!

Like Evan, God has been chasing me down lately, and I have been nonrespondant to his call. His call has been there all along but I felt waaaaay too inadequate to follow the call. But since Kenya, God has brought me on a journey of experiencing his love and faithfulness in a way I never had before. And the works he has called me to will flow out of my new, refreshened love for him.

The vision:
Seek justice. Encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of widow (Isaiah 1:17)

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothed you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.- Jesus (Matthew 25:34-40)


Basically, I just want to be with God's people who are suffering. Who are in poverty. I want to learn to love them. I want to be friends with them. I don't want to just do things for them through programs, like shove money in their direction. I want to get to know them.

I am totally undeserving of this. Especially after seeing poverty in Kenya with my own eyes and feeling completely hopeless to build relationships with these people, I don't know how I can possibly do it. But God has been holding my hand and is taking me a long way. And I know I can do anything, ANYTHING through Christ who gives me strength. When I was in Kenya, I found it hard to love the poor. But God gave me a small seed of love for his people- a mustard seed. And you know what they say about mustard seeds- they grow into the largest of trees.

So, now what? There's still a lot of different things this could lead me to. I'm beginning to pray that God will show how to be with the poor. What job could I take, where should I live, how should I live? It's all up to him.

I'm frightened. But humbled. But I know that the God of comfort is always with me. And like Joshua, he is telling me:

Be strong and courageous, for I am with you always.