getting distressingly lost is not my favorite thing

I've felt the need to branch out and get to know more people, lately. Especially girls. Which is why I really want to plug into an all-girls small group, which is why I went to a college service, called the Gathering tonight. Which was how the mishaps of the evening began.

First off, I HATE being the newcomer at a church group of young people. It's never not awkward if you go completely alone. Which is what I did. Not that I didn't try to invite people, mind you. I texted about 8 different people, but they all had different things going on. But I was determined. I would go and meet friends and join a small group. Yes, I am a bit of an idealist.

So I have been to Mason not too many times. I google mapped the campus. Mishap #1: Allowing google maps to direct you to a road with a dead end, with no hint of where you're actually trying to go. I've sworn off google maps a number of times, but I always end using it again. It's a bad drug.

I took a phone a friend, since many of my friends around here commute to Mason, and I got there. That was half the battle. Now I needed to park and find this building I was to go to. Parking lots confused me, but I finally settled in one. Note: I did not see any sign entering this Mason Pond Deck which stated that they did not accept credit cards. I walked into this building which was like a Student Union, but it seemed more like a mall to me. I remembered I had been there once before for some benefit concert I went to with a guy a few years back. I finally found the event itself on the ground level- I was a half an hour late. I missed most of worship. And I missed meet n greet, which would've been critical to me meeting people. Hated that cause I mostly went to worship and meet people. The sermon was good, on the lighter side compared to Kevin Hass' sermons but on the heavy side when compared to a high school youth group. It honestly wasn't bad. I even jotted a few things down.

After the service was the awkward time. People were in their groups and I didn't find any openings for conversation. I talked to a total of two people at the Connect table, and haphazardly made my way around the room before giving up and leaving (and they have no small groups near Manassas since it is mostly Mason-baed).

So I went out a different door then I came in, thinking it would take me to the same place. Boy, I was wrong. Mishap #2: I walked for 20 minutes in this parking lot, before I met a nice woman who was probably on the faculty who helped figure out that I was in the wrong parking deck. Ughhhh. To make matters worse, she didn't know quite how to direct me to the other parking deck. So I bothered people, talked to strangers (well one girl, and two guys who were leaving the Gathering) and finally figured out I could just go back up a floor the way I came in, and EVERYTHING WOULD MAKE SENSE FROM THERE. and it did.

Mishap #3: Found my car in no time. Prepared my credit card to leave. (In the other parking lot I saw a sign which said it JUST took credit cards, so I felt pretty good). Of course, I ended up in the parking lot that didn't take credit cards. I didn't have cash, or my checkbook. I felt so bad. I told the parking attendant that I was at an event but hadn't been at the school before to know anything about parking. He didn't seem to believe me as he asked me later about my Mason student ID. I didn't have ANYTHING. And I cried. I felt like a conman but I really wasn't trying to jip him. I honestly could not do anything.

He told me there was ATM nearby. I explained to him that the last thing I wanted to do was get lost again. That's actually when I started to cry.

He let me go. But I feel so bad for jipping him. Would if he had to pay that money from his own pocket? I felt horrible about it. I know it's a small thing, but anything little that triggers my guilt suddenly pushes me into a very deep pit. I feel anxious and very depressed...even with a small thing. They trigger the big things.

That ended up making my whole evening feel like a waste. Like a sham. When it was not all that bad. I hate responding to those triggering little things which eat you up inside.