Library books are collecting dust on my window sill, on the top of my TV, and on my dresser. There are so many helpful books to read. So many interesting books to read, but I am simply disinterested.
Every few weeks I go back to idealist.org, craigslist, monster.com, the cnu job search site...and begin the futile search again. But I don't end up applying to many jobs. Each attempt is as if my child-like hand were grasping for small precious grains flying in the air, unable to ever be attained.
Then there's what I really want to do- the idealistic and volunteer-oriented jobs I am really interested in. I go back to those sometimes. But with their lengthy applications accessing one's character, motivations and maturity, I don't want to post any lies.
I have some very well-meaning people in my life who like to tell me the truth. Do they realize that one cannot simply be talked out of their sadness? That hearing it can just provoke more sadness, and thus get overwhelmed into more apathy?
1 comment:
I've been told that one cannot appreciate happiness unless one has been sad. Just as one cannot appreciate the beauty of reading without having not wanted to read in a long time.
The good news for your interest in writing: According to my good friend Kurt Vonnegut, "You cannot be a good writer of serious fiction if you are not depressed."
<3
(If you don't get my meaning then here it is: Be sad, if it suits you in the moment. Being too happy all the time always makes me nervous, anyway.)
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