Plans

A typical conversation with someone I have not seen in awhile:

-- Wow, you're graduating this year! Remind me what your major is?
--English.
-- Oh good! You're gonna be a teacher!
-- I don't know. I'm not going for my teaching degree.
-- Journalism?
-- No. Creative Writing.
-- Oh! Good for you! Way to do something you love!
-- (nods)
--What are you gonna do when you graduate?
--I have no idea.
-- You still have time! It's OK!


I walk away and hang my head down for awhile. Sometimes in these conversations, I expose my secret- I want to do ministry. But that doesn't mean I know what ministry and I do not know how long after graduation I'll start pursuing it. My parents have imprinted the idea in me that I need to get a "real world" job after I graduate to at least establish a living before I go into the depths of pastoral poverty.

Different options I'm considering after graduation:

-go to seminary (although I have to pay for it myself and I've been told that it's good to do ministry a couple years before).
- get a teaching certificate and try to sub at schools (maybe go for one of those teach abroad programs)
-get an entry-level editor job(yipee.)
-join the PeaceCorps
-pursue a writing career (chuckles)
-jump right into missions work and the insanity that is fundraising (maybe Africa Inland Missions, IV staff, IV link, etc)
-not find any work or oppurtunities and end up working at a bookstore or other place of retail or restaurant in Manassas hell until something comes my way

I really need to be in prayer. I really need to trust completely in God. Depend on Him.

That sounds nice and flowery, but it's hard. That is vulnerably placing myself, not in my will, but in the will of someone else. It is releasing control of my life.

Romans 12:1-2 has long been one of my favorite scriptures, but only recently has it come into new light.

Therfore, I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer up your bodies as living sacrifices- holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Dependence on God's will= giving yourself up as a living sacrifice.

That doesn't sound too pretty, does it? It means enduring the pain and frustration that comes. It means humbling yourself and putting others first.

Giving up our lives and our plans to God is worship.

I never thought of that. But it is. It's glorifying God.

Worship is not just singing praise to God. It's being a living sacrifice.
It doesn't conform to what the world says.

The world tells me to succeed and make lots of money.
The world tells me I should do things for the good of myself before the good of the people ( And very little for God). They say it's nice that I'm a do-gooder. Good for you!
The world tells me I should always have a plan set ahead of me, and follow that plan.
The world tells me that I have control of my life, and that I have the oppurtunity to invent myself and who I want to be.
The world tells me that my work is who I am.


But that's not what I believe in, praise the Lord. By God's good grace, he's shown me that I do not want the things of the world. He has given me identity in Him.

Rather than conforming to the world's standards, my mind continually needs to be renewed. But it's not an easy process. Being a Christian is not easy. When God transforms us, he refines us, like fire to silver. It hurts.

But there's a promise- in my spiritual act of worship God will show me his will for my life. I might have to test and question different choices and get them approved. It's not always a burning bush, or a neon arrow sign(like I long for). Sometimes it's making a hypothesis and testing it out. But by submitting myself over to God, I can trust him to carry out the procedure and bring me to what conclusion he would have me be at.

Everyone and their aunt quotes Jeremiah 29:11, for hope in God's plans (the carriers of the prosperity gospel spill it out in almost every one of their sermons.) But we don't often read the context around it. First of all, Jeremiah is one of the most depressing books of the Bible. Jeremiah is sent out by God as a "doomsday" prophet. Believe me, he wasn't very popular. He was a pretty lonely guy, all he had was God and his scribe. He had some pretty scary revelations about the fate of the Hebrew people in his time. And in all of that, it is written:

"This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."
-Jeremiah 29:10-14

Thank God we are taken out of captivity by faith in Jesus Christ! Bwana asifiwe! But it's no doubt that we struggle through this, and in our fleshly bodies, still long to be released from our chains. I can take hope that Jeremiah did actually believe this when he wrote it down. I try to picture his reaction when God revealed this to him. "Uhhh...Are you sure God? Really??"

But he gives us a promise that Jeremiah, "the weeping prophet," put full trust in. And it's happening. All we have to do is open our eyes.