i heart henri nouwen

I much prefer reading Henri Nouwen to boys.

I much prefer him to most Christian writers. His style is so elegant. His words flow off the page. He doesn't have to say much to make his point, but then will go for a bit explaining it. He's not overly religious or legalistic but you can see his love for Christ. He embraces faith holistically, and does not hold back on any issues.

His writing reminds me of a cross between Wendell Berry and a Christian Gary Snyder (ha, like that'd ever happen).

I'm reading Seeds of Hope, which only gives me excerpts from his different books on various topics he writes on. Pretty light reading, but still deep, powerful stuff in a few sentences.

I would say out of most spiritual texts I've read, this is one of the most accessible to the non-believer. He speaks often from a more philosophical viewpoint and doesn't tout around a lot of heavy Christian-nese language.

time to move forward, give my all, and refuse to give up

"I know that I have to move from speaking about Jesus to letting him speak within me, from thinking about Jesus, to letting him think within me, from acting for and with Jesus to letting him act through me.

I know the only way to see the world is through his eyes. Everything has to become very simple, very unified, very focused. It is no longer a question of being up-to-date or well-informed.

At this moment of history- my own as well as that of the world- I have to go to the very center of being; the center where time touches eternity, where earth and heaven meet, where God’s word becomes human flesh, where death and immortality embrace. There is no longer a question of options. I have heard a voice saying, “Give me everything and I will give you everything.” " - Henri Nouwen

Lately, I have been a slave to many things. I have one too many idols. The number one idol? Relationships. I'd rather relate with people (especially guys) than relate with God. Being a slave is exhausting and it keeps you from doing anything purposeful whatsoever, because you are just too focused on what you want which is keeping you bound. I want to focus upon the Lord, and give him all of my attention but my flesh repeatedly keeps myself from it. Today, I died again. Today, I am laying aside my earthly ambitions to somehow obtain Christ's death and resurrection. Through his strength, not mine. I cannot go on any longer on my own. It is way too defeating. Way too depressing. I will choose the better life, no matter how hard it seems, putting aside my judgments and how I think other people will now perceive me. If you're a close friend of mine, please help me stay accountable to this re-commitment. Please. This bondage has not yet given up on me. Pray that through Christ's strength, I might break it down.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"- Galatians 2:20-21

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."- John 15:1-8

things i haven't done lately that i need to do, again

-go hiking
-workout 3-5 times a week
-go on a glorious bike ride
-cook
-read books
-write substantial blogs
- write poetry
- work on fiction
- do any kind of writing
-keep up with world events
-care about justice
-research theology
-read the bible (alone) and study it (in a group or with another person)
-pray/talk to God in my journal (constantly talk to god)



i'll give myself credit. this is all old me at different times. and being old me is hard.
the truth is, i don't care right now. it's really hard for me to begin to care. i'm wasting too much time on the computer or in front of the tv. but i just can't care.

wondering what to say to me? i ran into this john piper article- http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2008/3283/
but i didn't read it, cause i deemed it useless to me in the first two paragraphs. just like he said it would- funny enough.

"instead of getting better, she grew worse."

I wanna cry all my time. This increased vulnerability- not a good place to be.

My super-emotional tendencies are paralyzing me from doing anything really substantial. I forgot I even had those tendencies.

I need a big change of scenery. I don't even need to move to get it. I do need something. A miracle.

I know life is full of hope and opportunity, but I feel somewhat hopeless right now. Please pray for me.

why i am wary of eschatology

I'm gonna make this short, rather than a long-drawn post explaining each point in depth (if you wanna argue my wariness, then maybe I'll make that post.)

There are certainly reasons to be wary of eschatology when people talk about in the Christian media. Many of the books which have came out in the past 40 years offer non-bibically validated views on the end times (Left Behind, The Late Great Planet Earth). While some of their views may be found in the Bible, some of the views are just crazy hoshposh to instill fear in people. For example, the fact that they believe the end times will happen when the antichrist establishes a one-world government, have led many conservative evangelicals to believe that the antichrist will be a socialist/communist parading around as a democrat. This is totally absurd. The Bible holds no political partisans. A correct interpretation of the Bible does not instill radical fears.


The Bible does not offer a straight-up explanation for the end times. How this current world will end is shrouded in mystery. People often take things said in context to biblical times and sloppily apply it to today. Just like no one knows exactly how Christ return, neither does anyone really know who, if either Obama or Mccain, will make the best president. All it is, is simple guessing. And to the best of my knowlege, Obama is not the anti-christ, and it is not only unsafe, but extremely judgmental to believe he could be at this point. Please don't make judgments on presidential candidates based on pop eschatology. Thanks.