Wednesday, February 04, 2009

between what i know i need to do and what i do

I have to let go of my distractions. Primarily of this year's big letdowns.

In the Bible, there are two kinds of fears (maybe there's more, but these are the two I'm concerned with). There is one which means dread (hebrew word for that isn't important to me, because I'd rather that concept. This reminds me of all my anxieties, heartaches and terrors.The other fear is the fear of the Lord, which people wrongly misinterpret, thinking we should be afraid of God. I mean, he is a powerful God so perhaps we be a little afraid. But the Hebrew word for this fear is yira. This is one of the most beautiful words to me, and one I hold dearly to my heart (I even have a necklace my best friend got made for me which says "Yira YHWH" in front of a tree.)

This word represents a holy fear, but it's closer to meaning reverence or awe.When I think about Yira YHWH, I think about my Father positionally. I hold him above all my anxieties and dreaded fears. I hold him up in reverence because he is my King, Lord of my life, and Creator of all things. He is the restorer and redeemer of life. He is way beyond the little things of my life. His love is greater than all the pains and trials I could endure in my lifetime.

I wear Yira YHWH around my neck to remember. I can get very anxious. One of my problems doesn't have to be as big a deal as I make it, but I blow it out of proportion and take it personally. One of my biggest fears gets whispered to me as a lie- "You are alone in this world, Janelle. Completely alone. No one knows you and no one loves you." I know this dread is a trumphed up lie.What do I do? I need to fix my eyes upon Jesus. Fear him. Or yira him if you still don't like that word. If my heart is attentive towards him, these lies dissipate. Jesus has already taken victory over these lies. He won my life on the cross. On the cross he overcomes our biggest fears.

There you go. I know what I need to do. But does that mean I'll do it?

1 comment:

Jed Estrada said...

Hey, Janelle. I found your blog. :-) Great thoughts, too. Fear of God as a reverence the way you wrote it, is a great thing. I like that last part, where you say when we are afraid, to fear God. That is such a shift of meanings, that when we fear God, it actually takes away our fear. Cool, huh? Anyway, I just wrote a post like this a few weeks ago. Between knowing the doing... great concept.