To Dr. Schwarze

I have to admit, I was quite the slacker my first half of college. Fall of my sophomore year, I had Dr. Tracy Schwarze for English 208 (Reading Lit), and I often came into class forgetting to read the syllabus. We did read extremely interesting books and I did eventually get to all of them within our course.

She administered great grace upon us, and lead us in rather fascinating classroom discussions. She was what a great professor should be -- a facilitator. Every here and there she would insert her knowledge and her vast love for the topics we were covering.

To be honest, it was because of her classes that I realized I wanted to be an English major. I was a procrastinator and spent most of my semesters not knowing what I'd write on-- but when ideas came to me, she encouraged them and widened the scope further for me. She introduced me to genres of literature that today I love the most. Later on in college, she even taught me a deeper appreciation for all things James Joyce.

Though I was not the most dependable student, I remember the papers I wrote for her well. And even more so, the encouragement she gave me to go deeper into the subject. When ever we dived into different literary works, it was as if we were jumping into the depths of humanity-- of our depravity, of our goodness, celebrations and mourning. We were scaling over writers who were submerged in exploring our hearts and our souls. She was very thoughtful about all of them-- and gave me a lot to dwell on.

I never thought much of my papers. I rushed through the drafts and didn't think they were very good. But she saw what was good in them. I became a writing major, but before that was declared, she identified my gifting and made it known to me. It wasn't that I didn't know I was good. My fourth grade teacher identified this, too. As did my parents. But there's something about when you're in college, and suddenly you're not the best, that it needs to be re-affirmed.

Honestly, a lot of my classmates talked about how hard she was and while I did not get straight A's on my papers, I thought she administered a lot of grace. She challenged me to strive further out of my underclassman laziness but gave me significant feedback to cause me to thrive.

She's one big reason I became an English major.

She passed away on Sunday after battling with cancer (I had no idea), and I am sad to see her go. I won't be able to make it to her Memorial at CNU on Saturday since I will be in NJ, but my thoughts and prayers are with her family and the CNU community, particularly the English Department.

Rest in Peace, Dr. Schwarze. You truly exemplified the qualities of a great professor.